Lovely Teammates

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We have all had that teammate who…

Takes 45 minutes to put their uniform (kit) on comes in midway through the warm-up, warms up for 3-4 minutes and then goes to sit on the bench and says, “I can’t warm-up for that long, it’s too much.”

Sits in a timeout staring at the coach and then when the time out is over walks out on court and asks someone else what she/he just said. Apparently appearing to pay attention is just good as actually paying attention.

Always plays zone when we’re in man or man when we’re in zone. I love this cause you always hear one player shouting, “we’re in a zone’ as that teammate chases someone around the court.

Forgets their water and asks someone to share even when they’ve been sick for a few days, just to spread the flu epidemic throughout the team. Thanks.

Over does it in the warm up. Seriously, its a warm-up, not a pre-practice 400m sprint. Please relax yourself.

Heads to mcdonalds right after training with the belief that its okay because they just worked out so much. Guilty.

Comes to the game with so much make up on that we aren’t sure whether she is trying to win or find a future husband. Always unnecessary.

Played with their hair down. Unless its really short, tie ya hair strands back. It’s distracting and annoying.

Always got told off by the ref for wearing the wrong color underneath their jersey, and they always decide to chance it next game. You never know, the ref might let you wear it this time.

Wore ridiculous amounts of sweatbands and never actually sweat of they even played at all. I usually end up calling the basketball fashion police. (Dial 1-3-1 from your phone.)

Sneakers smelled so bad no one would go near them before or after the game. Happened to me once and I was extremely sad to throw the shoes away.

Asked way too many questions at practice. Gonna shout out my friend Jinx cause she not only did this in practice but also during class. She’d be that person to remind the professors about the homework that was due that no one else ever did and ask questions when there was 10 seconds left in class.

Can’t remember any plays. They go on court to ready to do work an then end up confusing the whole team. Bobbed when ya should have weaved.

Eats everything in sight and never gains any weight. 10 years later….

Disappears during post-season and summer time only to come back more fit than everyone else.

The coach always shouts “nooooooooooo ooooooo yeahhhh good shot” whenever they shoot and it actually ends up going in. Too funny.

Tells everyone their ambidextrous but when they dribble with their weak hand everyone cringes as the ball dribbles off their foot and out of bounds.

Falls for absolutely no reason, all the time. Even though its kind of funny but also we get tired of turning around to find you on the ground.

Plays 5 minutes and gets 5 bruises.

Spends more time in the training room (physio) than on the court.

Can play 40 minutes but can’t walk up a flight of stairs. True.

No matter who they are guarding that player is gonna drop like 30.

Shoots the ball when we’re up 2 with 10 seconds to go in the game.

and…shot at the wrong basket, and scored.


I love my teammates.


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